Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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