I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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