I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i out mim tonsoeep
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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