I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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