Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize