So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
