I need to stop coming to work sober
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize