I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
