nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
