you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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