Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize