I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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