I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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