Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
