so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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