I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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