PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
