this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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