Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
