This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
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You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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