he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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