Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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