the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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