we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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