I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just googled if crying burns calories
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
