I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
