Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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