There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
