Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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