I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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