I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
