She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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