I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How does one acquire holy water?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
