Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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