I accidentally burped into my bong.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
