Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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