he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
