Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
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I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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