I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
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I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
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Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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