Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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