we have pet lesbian snakes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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