Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just found a bag of teeth...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
