I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
