Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I have aggressive nipples.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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