i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I believe in your delicious
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
