my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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