Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
