Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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