HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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