Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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