Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
