where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i would punch a child for taco bell
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
