at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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