my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
