went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
