I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
