it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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