Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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