Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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