Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
